#FeelMilan

EK Milan: A Brief History

5th June 2014

By Gary Henderson

EK Milan is the best bad football club in the world. This is an undisputed fact. Undisputed between the rest of the team and I.

 

We came together through a ramshackle of circumstance, charity and necessity around three years ago.

 

Our embryo developed in the completely uninteresting confines of a call centre where around 40 of my colleagues divided in two based on shift patterns and drew the battle lines (between calls and quality meetings) for a charity football match.

 

It was dubbed ‘Day Vs Night’, boasting the narrative of every good underdog story. The Day team were vastly superior in numbers, experience and talent. They had an abundance of ‘proper’ players in their ranks with tactical expertise at their fingerprints.

 

They were faster than us, they were stronger than us and they fully expected to give us an absolute pumping. I remember passing around a scorecast sheet for the big game in the weeks leading up to it where someone would win a decent sum of money for guessing the outcome of the game. Within the Night camp, most of the bets were on a draw or a sneaky win by the odd goal for either side. When I got to the desks of the Day team and asked them to fire their bets down, I had to waddle back to my computer and add extra columns to the betting sheet. The one I had thrown together only went up to ten goals on either side. They had every belief and intention of racking up more.

 

At that point we were called D-GeneLateTeam-X, because we were the late team and I have an unhealthy obsession with wrestling. I got caught up in all the hype for the event, making promotional videos and annoying the backside off everyone in the office by constantly pestering them for money and, well, their attention.

 

On the hunt for kits to use for the game, we managed to procure some funding and buy some in. The seemingly innocuous decision to buy in A.C Milan home strips for the big game would end up shaping the future of the team – or its name at least.

 

Personally, I’m not very good at football. But over the months playing fives together and bonding as a team, I thought we were ready for a game of 11 a side soccer.

 

We absolutely were not. The first couple of games were interesting affairs – all defeats- but learning experiences nonetheless. They had fights, half time sh*tes and defenders taking flight. After three

warm-up games, we went into the original charity game completely full of vigour and determination.

 

In true EK Milan style, we lost heroically. However, it was the catalyst for what would become a juggernaut of a team. While a few dropped out – only having signed up for the original charity match – other emerged in the team.

 

I always tried to keep the team a solid unit of friends, wary of bringing in too many ringers or outsiders, regardless of how good they were at football. This was a team that – in my eyes – were better getting beat and having fun than winning with ar*eholes.

 

Throughout the next year or so, we treated water, playing games where we could and trying to find our level. A number of players came through the ranks, but I never let an ar*ehole near the team (apart from when I played). For many players, this was their only chance of competitive football, be it though ability, age or availability.

 

For others, it was a chance to have fun on the football pitch and hone their skills, a welcome change of pace from the vigour of competitive amateur football.

 

The team seemed to have a resurgence in late 2012 with the influx of a new group of players along with a new sense of determination from the older guard. The balance of the squad had found a mix of originals and new blood, leaving EK Milan with a strong squad in both ability and numbers.

 

It was then I decided there was enough of an infrastructure there to join some sort of competitive league. Yes, there’s only five teams in it and yes it’s not exactly the most competitive thing in the world, but it offers us 16 guaranteed games over the season and gives the team something to play for – something to win.

 

EK Milan is one of the best things I’ve ever been involved in. It has a knack for forging friendships like nothing else, bringing together a group of, what, 40 guys with – in some cases – little else in common. It brings together felons and floppy haired wingers, tiny Italians and mini-mass royalty, Eggs, Ducks, Afros, Hickeyfits, Chubby Clubbers, Beards, Seeds, Slebers and Shuffles. EK Milan is truly a brotherhood, and one that will only get stronger as time goes on.

 

© EK Milan 2015. All rights reserved.

#FeelMilan

EK Milan is the best bad football club in the world. This is an undisputed fact. Undisputed between the rest of the team and I.

 

We came together through a ramshackle of circumstance, charity and necessity around three years ago.

 

Our embryo developed in the completely uninteresting confines of a call centre where around 40 of my colleagues divided in two based on shift patterns and drew the battle lines (between calls and quality meetings) for a charity football match.

 

It was dubbed ‘Day Vs Night’, boasting the narrative of every good underdog story. The Day team were vastly superior in numbers, experience and talent. They had an abundance of ‘proper’ players in their ranks with tactical expertise at their fingerprints.

 

They were faster than us, they were stronger than us and they fully expected to give us an absolute pumping. I remember passing around a scorecast sheet for the big game in the weeks leading up to it where someone would win a decent sum of money for guessing the outcome of the game. Within the Night camp, most of the bets were on a draw or a sneaky win by the odd goal for either side. When I got to the desks of the Day team and asked them to fire their bets down, I had to waddle back to my computer and add extra columns to the betting sheet. The one I had thrown together only went up to ten goals on either side. They had every belief and intention of racking up more.

 

At that point we were called D-GeneLateTeam-X, because we were the late team and I have an unhealthy obsession with wrestling. I got caught up in all the hype for the event, making promotional videos and annoying the backside off everyone in the office by constantly pestering them for money and, well, their attention.

 

On the hunt for kits to use for the game, we managed to procure some funding and buy some in. The seemingly innocuous decision to buy in A.C Milan home strips for the big game would end up shaping the future of the team – or its name at least.

 

Personally, I’m not very good at football. But over the months playing fives together and bonding as a team, I thought we were ready for a game of 11 a side soccer.

 

We absolutely were not. The first couple of games were interesting affairs – all defeats- but learning experiences nonetheless. They had fights, half time sh*tes and defenders taking flight. After three

warm-up games, we went into the original charity game completely full of vigour and determination.

 

In true EK Milan style, we lost heroically. However, it was the catalyst for what would become a juggernaut of a team. While a few dropped out – only having signed up for the original charity match – other emerged in the team.

 

I always tried to keep the team a solid unit of friends, wary of bringing in too many ringers or outsiders, regardless of how good they were at football. This was a team that – in my eyes – were better getting beat and having fun than winning with ar*eholes.

 

Throughout the next year or so, we treated water, playing games where we could and trying to find our level. A number of players came through the ranks, but I never let an ar*ehole near the team (apart from when I played). For many players, this was their only chance of competitive football, be it though ability, age or availability.

 

For others, it was a chance to have fun on the football pitch and hone their skills, a welcome change of pace from the vigour of competitive amateur football.

 

The team seemed to have a resurgence in late 2012 with the influx of a new group of players along with a new sense of determination from the older guard. The balance of the squad had found a mix of originals and new blood, leaving EK Milan with a strong squad in both ability and numbers.

 

It was then I decided there was enough of an infrastructure there to join some sort of competitive league. Yes, there’s only five teams in it and yes it’s not exactly the most competitive thing in the world, but it offers us 16 guaranteed games over the season and gives the team something to play for – something to win.

 

EK Milan is one of the best things I’ve ever been involved in. It has a knack for forging friendships like nothing else, bringing together a group of, what, 40 guys with – in some cases – little else in common. It brings together felons and floppy haired wingers, tiny Italians and mini-mass royalty, Eggs, Ducks, Afros, Hickeyfits, Chubby Clubbers, Beards, Seeds, Slebers and Shuffles. EK Milan is truly a brotherhood, and one that will only get stronger as time goes on.